Fifth Hour


As I approach you

I tremble in fear

as I know I’m not worthy

and I feel that you are going to

punish me


I come to you on

Bent knee with a

Bowed Head and a

Broken and shamed heart


Father I am not proud

I don’t want to be haughty

Nor did I want to come here

and be confronted by you


For what can I say Father

What can I do and

what can I offer

to plead my case before you

that I would say that I has just cause

to do what I did


But I am here now Father

and I am weak and I am afraid

Let me rest in your arms

for just a little while as you

comfort me, hold me

Let me speak to you Father


I am not worthy Father

to rest in your embrace

for I have insulted your Kingdom

with my thoughts

my words

my actions


What I feared most of all

has come once again knocking

knocking at my door

I have no more peace because of it

I feel endless turmoil


Everytime I come to you Father

my own mouth by virtue of what

I say condemns me and

it announces my guilt



Father I am troubled tonight

I am fearful of the quickly

approaching date that means

so much to me and my state

of mind


Why would I put myself

in jeopardy so often

and want to take my life

into my own hands

It is not my decision

when my life ends

but yours


I am thankful Father

for the last four years

that you were gracious

enough to give to me

when so many times

you could have taken

my life


I pray Father that day would

no longer trouble me

that it would not be remembered

with pride or happiness

but with thankfulness and humility


You brought me

out of the depths

of the pain I was in

back from despair

from shame from guilt


Every year may I throw

myself on my hands and knees

my face turned towards

and focused on you

and do nothing that day

but praise you

only praise you


One day Father may I

no longer feel the shame

that I feel everytime

I think about it

May I instead stand

firm and fearless

and remember the sins

of long ago

as only water rushing by


You question me Father

I must answer you

but I do not know

what I can say

in my defense

that you would accept


Father you love me


there is nothing

that I can do

that will make you

stop loving me

I did not get to

this point alone


It was you Father

and only you

you gave me

Grace and Mercy

and there is nothing

I can ever do to repay you


Thunder booms and lightening

flashes similar to a storm

I fall back to my knees

as I feel your overwhelming

presence change

I tremble at your power








Who has claims against me

that I must pay them

I gave you a body


breath I gave you LIFE


I did not shorten your life

when you forsook me

when you cursed me

I did not end your life


Your body is an extension

of my temple

My spirit lived in you

even now as you crawl

back to me


It still lives

in you


You do not have peace

from this matter

because you have not asked

me to take it away from you


You have asked in the past

but with the wrong motive

that I would merely take it

away and you could still

indulge in your earthly pleasures


You cannot always have

what you want

I am you Father

I know what is best for you


Do not fear me my child

because fear has to do

with being punished

My love is perfect

and it drives out the fear


So come to me

with your pain

your worries

your burdens

your cares

your anxieties

and rest in my embrace


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