Here is Song

Here is Song

In the thickness of grief, like clouds,
I found a song whose rhythm is like an icing to a cloud.
There are more, sharing your space with you.
But first, empty your body of pain, open it
into a room of playful things.
Become like a kid entering its toy park,
like a masquerade dancing in the village square,
like the earth welcoming the remains of mortality.

It has been here, a song.
But blindness pangs the eyes:
grief won’t allow you to sight beautiful things –
it knows you won’t die more than you’ve been killed.
A taste of this song would heal you into a divinity.

On occasions, my body slips into darkness.
I feel there should be songs to encrypt fear
into the body of what hunts me, a demon
whose home is the carcass of night,
calling our names – me, you
and even others unknown to us,
those whose vulnerability bar is always bloody.

There is song everywhere, in every thing,
even the sadness solitude gives you
hides millions of joyful songs in its feathers.
Here is how to make the song into a soother:
Listen – listen to things around you:
poems, birds, nature, chirping,
the clattering of spoon and dish,
and echo these words as chorus:
hope, healing, resurrection and blessings.

Roxane

She read to our class about rape and race,

More freckles than tears on her beautiful face.

She smiled and said reach out anytime,

A few months later, I did, when I felt my prime.

The kindness was gone, the smile dead.

Her rejection drilled through my heart and I bled.

I bought a pack of pills,

And drove to empty, paved hills.

 

I swallowed the words, the pills and pain,

Then the firefighters came.

Under fluorescent lights and tubes, I came through,

And to Joshua Tree, like a tumbleweed, I blew.

I never wrote her again, but her name pops up,

Her fame rises with each American cultural hiccup.

And I see those freckles in a different light,

She has already lost sight.

Dark

Close your eyes and fall.

Fall into that abyss that lies silently behind your line of sight,

Fall into a place where your thoughts are violent,

But your mind is still.

Close your eyes and fall into the darkness.

 

Let the emptiness caress your soul,

Remove the warmth of life and become colder than the headstone,

As your thoughts run dry and your fears fill up with life.

Recreate the feeling of death, remove the pain and just be cold.

Let your demons crawl out of your fears and fall,

Let them fall down your cheeks, have them caress your face,

In ways that people never could.

 

Now, pray,

Not for your forgiveness or your salvation.

But pray for the eternal damnation you have survived since birth.

Silently and secretly curse Heaven and Earth

As you fail to take your mind out of purgatory and blow out the flames

 

Now focus on the darkness,

Let it envelope you, inscribe letters on your body,

As you emerge from the darkness.

Now open your eyes and submerge those thoughts

Regret your life and wish death upon yourself

Utter a silent amen to cement your undying beliefs

Return the skeletons in their closets and let the darkness free.

~Baker

Hour 1: Post 1: The Costume

Who will I be?

The question I ask myself 

hundreds of times a day.

The perfect soccer mom-

mini van 

baked goods 

PTA

Barbie looks with my newly pressed dress

nails done

hair up 

ready for the front page.

The trophy wife-

dinner on the table

waiting eagerly for my lover to walk through the door

cater to their every need

slaving over the hot stove in ninety degree heat 

kids screaming 

mom 

mom 

mom 

all day blaring like trumpets 

in the background.

The perfect daughter-

her shit together

never saying anything out of the way

polite 

content 

never doing wrong 

no past to speak of 

cant get anyone upset.

Or maybe just me-

The mom who tries her best 

yet still feels like a complete failure 

list isn’t done

clothes aren’t perfect

dust on the shelf

stepping on toys

crying in the closet

drinking wine for breakfast

cussing like a sailor

barefoot on the porch

anxiety setting in. 

Giving my all 

but is that enough? 

Seems to be 

but the demon in my head 

screams

no 

no 

no

you’re failing!

Get it right!  

The daughter

the sister

the mother

the friend

trying to prove my life is all together;

yet slipping back 

every chance I get to get ahead. 

Here he goes again.

screaming.

no 

no 

no

you’re failing.

But here I am 

day by day

putting on my perfect society approved costume

just to get by

and fighting like hell

to do the best I can.

I am my own inspiration.

I am the best version I can be.

No Matter

Brave and determine girl,

Ready to fight for her rights,

To make education equal,

No matter the status,

No matter the language,

No matter the race,

No matter the place,

No matter who you are,

We are all equal

To deserve education

and more…

@Mejia- Hour 1

Hour 1: Special Moms

Every day you find a new struggle,

A mountain to climb, a journey to start

You look at your child with determination

Find the strength to go on in your heart.

You battle your fears and frustrations,

Wondering how you got here.

With a wondrous birth, full of joy and mirth

The distant light now threatening to disappear.

Look…you have made it this far in your journey

Your child has their own glowing light

In the day you can find all your blessings

Even if tears you shed in the night.

Take each day as it comes at you

Keep on going, even with qualms.

You are doing the best you could possibly do

In this life of a special needs mom.

I was told

Told never to succeed.

Told never to make something important.

Told worthless effort.

Told wrong, everything wrong.

Well, success was not easy.

Well, it was important to a few.

Well, effort changed things.

Well, not everything wrong, but not everything right.

Somehow I made it and slowly as it maybe, truly be happy that I did it!

Clouds

Wafting away, seizing every opportunity.

Demented in spirit, but light as air.

Horrifying from afar

Vibing in the tendrilous breeze

Of inadequate earnings.

Made from broken promises and

Meaningless gestures, non -serious in density.

Apart all else is doomed.

Sent away to the edges of the world.

Where beauty resides in colours

Purple turns to yellow, turns to green.

Harkens in sleep a bewildering dream.