#15 Mind the Gap

Please, mind the gap
between the train and the platform.
We wouldn’t want
any accidents to happen today.

Mind the gap
as you type. Punctuation
is not to be dismissed.
Mind the gap after commas,
fullstops and other marks.

Mind the gap
between yourself and
the other person.

But most importantly,
(at least they said it is),
mind the gap
year that you’re taking.

It doesn’t look nice
on your CV,
the employer will ask,
if they will choose to speak
to you at all.

Inspired by London Underground,
and the employability module
in my study programme.

Harmony (15)

sad songs
patio sitting
poetry musing
ice clinking
husband shifting
dog patrolling
birds alighting
sun setting
clouds passing
sad songs

Because of You

A spiral wind
Turned inside of me
Because of you

I experienced a deep
Magical connection
Because of you

I can open up my soul
And release my passion
Because of you

I can truly experience
Internal love
Because of you
I love to live

Poem #18: Light Over Charlevoix

Light Over Charlevoix

The azure eyes looking down at me,
(Why can’t it stop, why won’t it stop.)
She is telling me to come sit up in the willow tree
With her, watching the Sun escape
And the branches tremble as I climb,
Till I sit by her side
And her hair is a waterfall on her shoulders,
Flying like mist in the wind.
Over the bay there is a light from Charlevoix
That makes me feel hollow,
And I know that the dead rhetoric
Tumbling, rolling, flying in a crumbled-up mess
Is something no one wants to simply pick up
And throw away—
So why do I find the need
To read it over and over and over?
(Why can’t I stop thinking, why won’t it go away.)
A grievance pleads to my ears
After a moment that I took her hand in mine,
And I don’t know what all
The songs in our heads mean anymore,
Yet the scene around me turns white
With the illness of expectation,
Plaguing that which I blame,
All that I do not understand,
On the buildings that have
To hold up the sky,
And I still am not tall enough
To reach the ceiling of it.
(Go away from me, stop playing with my head.)
The only reason I can cling to
When the red light glares above the street
And a man who had one too many an aperitif
Collides with the hand that I let go,
Is that I can only assume to blame
The Sirens slithering into view,
And the sky is either
Too empty or too narrow
For me to understand why
Her face is so clear and hopeless;
And the humans being so temporal
Do not see me shaking without end
As they shove me aside to prove to me
How much you can belittle
Words that the wind carries
Like pointlessly crisp leaves in an open autumn.
(Tell me why, give me one reason that is not filthy.)
The sky has become so narrow and close
That the stars are beginning to sting my
Comfortless frame, senseless
To the flow of the air,
Crushing this body
That is not even my own.
(How can you call this fine, how can you seem to just pass this by.)
And they are lifting down the box—
(Stop crying, why won’t you stop crying like a fool.)
The box has been covered by now,
And I am more lonesome than the walls,
Because they used to see the hand I hold every
Day that I spill over in jealousy for,
And the spiral staircase I go down every morning,
Feels like a prolonged hallucination,
Dreadfully common to me now.
(Why did you have to, why didn’t you stay.)
My hand looks thin before me,
And my feel fail to hold their balance
(Why can’t it end, why won’t my mind stop bleeding.)
Upon the cement I walk along,
And the winds planted over the lake
Are harvesting a storm, the eye
Swirling with all the rancour
I could ever set aside from the lustre
Of this world in the midst, paining me to
Relieve the emptiness in the bottom of the well
Before something miserable replaces that too.
And the jazz playing down at Randy’s
Has become as silent as
The dead rhetoric I finally decided to
Toss away, along with the mask
That resembles my contradiction—
And I cannot keep my breath
From pulsing like the waves of
The storm raging, sinking my heart
Like the stones skipping back at me,
As if I were the unstrung marionette
That was worthless enough even with
The strength upon its wrist for
A chance to save a life.
(Tell me why the chimera kills my imagination—
Tell me how to keep the voices from coming into the room—
Tell me why I abandoned all these songs we had—
Tell me why the breeze hurts so much—
Tell me why the lion roaring at me is no companion—
Tell me why the Sirens liken to all my variance—
Tell me why I can’t see my eyes in the mirror anymore—
Tell me why another story had to die—
Tell me why I can’t learn anymore about myself—
Tell me why the dulcet lake before me
And the tree coloured with affliction
Seem to want nothing more than be amiable—
Tell me why the light over Charlevoix doesn’t ever leave me in any way—
Tell me why the doves always seem so peaceful—
Tell me why all this sorrow tastes like grey pudding—
Tell me why I should stand up and know why—
Please can’t you tell me?)

Genius

Who was the genius who believed
That art can be formed in the rhythm of time,
The rhyme of challenge.
Who is the genius who believes
That verse can flow through her fingers on demand.
Who is the genius who believes
That she can stay awake.

Touched me without knowing it

There have been so many people in and out of my life
Encountering new and old
It’s made me bold
That has found a deep place in my soul
Who has discovered the opposite toll?
Because they reached in and touched me
Without knowing it
Each time it’s happened to be
I give a different look and then see
What all the purpose meant to me
Of why they all
Touched me without knowing it

It’s not 9:00 AM

There’s a finish-line some where.
Far off beyond the visible road.
I keep telling myself I’ll make it there.
A beautiful beach or some humble abode.

It is late and I am drunk adrenaline and caffeine.
Running out of ideas like a car low on fuel.
My eyes tell me there’s nothing just a blank screen.
Should’ve thought this through, but I am a fool.

24 poems. 24 f-ing poems. The number seemed candid
Each hour pushing myself for a little more.
And yet, the truth is that’s not what I landed.
Instead it’s a fight against myself. A great war.

 

 

Musical Chair Madness

Keep moving, keep moving the music is playing

But someone took my seat

I can still see it over there

The perfect size the perfect fit

warm and cozy calling me home

Quick, stop the music, I’m almost here

Poem #17: Looking Out From Restaurant Windows

Looking out from Restaurant Windows

Hanny, make sure you do not step into that puddle;
the view is so aimless and subtle,
looking out from these unclean windows.
At the lake stumbling toward us,
never seeming to reach beyond the shore:
if not to have a drink, then what for?
Still above our table swings the chandelier,
lingering of its light, the water damage
in the ceiling something I don’t fear
dad couldn’t resolve, either—but he can’t correct
the widowed sky outside, without a hand to hold,
its cascading sympathy like a confession,
the rain as diamonds shattering upon the sidewalk,
like the taps of our fingers on the table as we talk.
Crumbs of your food sitting on your jacket:
they’re so hungry to be noticed, but we just
seem to always let them go.
“Dad, how come when I’m not around, you have to stow
away and do things I wish I was there for?
Like going out for ‘delicious beverages,’
and speaking in the third person in the store?”
Even so, I admire the ambulance driving slow, hushed,
while a Mustang peels down the avenue,
trying to impress some flyleaf witness.
Mitchell Creek is running right round the bend,
and I wish I could see the river’s end
from the window, but I can only view part
of the bridge, the sentinel of the creek.
The food arrives before I even know,
the bill curtly expensive under the tarnished glow
of the dim chandelier light on the auburn seats,
for simple people eating simple food,
listening now and then to folk rock back beats.
A walk and dinner all in one,
living so close to the restaurant as we do;
must be why Auntie Jan and Grandma Millie
enjoy it so much. Today though, this moment of today,
I’m fasting for this day to end weakly, right away;
I’m eating fast, I laugh, looking out the window,
seeing all the gulls, a white halo above the silver bay.
I’m so full, but in no such hurry,
to leave today behind without a worry.
In hindsight, I think I spent most my desire
looking out the window than at my plate.
Walking away from the chandelier, its tiring ire
fading with the last shift, I step into that puddle,
happening to look back; and isn’t it a shame that they
clean the windows right after we leave—
only to become dirty again?

Sleep is creeping up (hour 15)

So here I am
battling sleep
so I can finish this
in one piece
but it keep pulling at my eyes

Sleep Sleep
why don’t you leave me alone
I will see you at the end

Pushing forward until the end
my phone battery is dead
how will i keep awake
Pushing not giviving in

Technical difficulties now
setting in my key board
is trying to Fail me,
Come on Key board I need you
for the next 9hrs.
Please don’t fail me now.