Hour Two: 46 in 2013: Taking On The World

46 in 2013: Taking On The World

This Life gig? Why did I worry? It turns out I’ve got it down pat.

  1. Working? New programs and presentations. Been there, done that, and published along the way.
  2. Teaching? One-to-one, each relationship develops and blossoms with discpline and wonder.
  3. Love Life? Fabulous sex. Been there, done that, doing more, more, and more.
  4. Travels? Passport updated, luggage-to-go packed, car gassed, plane trips scheduled.
  5. We’re all healthy and happy, squabbles and daily worries rolled into our immense joys.

So, 40 was hard when I could only hold hands, hum favorite songs, show pictures, and whisper memories

when losing first my father and then my dear friend. Both had gone too young, and I did not want to follow at only 40,

so I breathed in then out over and again. Determined, each year I grew playful. I became younger.

Wandering, getting lost, gasping at new sights while undeniably lost, I’d always find my way back.

Worries came, but I threw them onto passing winds. Here I am: 46 now, ready for new days into years into decades.

Yep, this Life gig? It’s not so hard after all. Watch out, World! I’m coming.

Hour 2 – The Ladder

The ladder loomed before her and beckoned,

It pulled her toward it against her will.

 

I don’t want to do this.

 

Her eyes looked at the first few rungs,

The ladder was steady and each step looked strong.

 

Maybe I can do this.

 

Then she lifted her eyes and peered toward the sky,

The ladder disappeared into the cottony clouds above.

 

I don’t want to do this.

 

She looked behind her and the fire licked the ground as it grew,

She could feel it getting closer as she turned back to the ladder.

 

Maybe I can do this.

 

She squinted upward trying to see the top of the ladder,

She knew it might be worse that what was behind her.

 

I don’t want to do this.

 

A shriek pierced the deafening roar of the fire,

She bolted toward the ladder.

 

Maybe I can do this.

 

Her hands grasped onto the sides of the ladder,

It felt cool despite the rising temperature around her.

 

I have to do this.

 

Her foot faltered as she pushed herself onto the first rung of the ladder,

She hesitated as she looked above and then turned back to the fire.

 

I can do this.

 

Her face burned from the heat and she once again turned her back on the flames,

Her jaw clenched as her grip tightened,

And she raised her foot to the next rung.

 

I have to do this.

 

She moved slowly up the ladder,

As drops of sweat hissed in the flames that now danced below her.

 

I can do this.

 

The wood began to vibrate beneath her hands and feet as she moved higher,

And her breath caught when she realized the flames were now attacking the ladder.

 

I can’t do this.

 

She began frantically climbing upward,

And she glanced upward at the ladder engulfed in soft clouds.

 

I can do this.

 

The ladder shuddered and dropped several feet,

She clung to helplessly waiting to fall. But it didn’t fall.

 

I can do this.

 

She began climbing again as the fire ate at the bottom rungs,

The comfort of the clouds seemed to get farther away even as she scrambled upward.

 

I can’t do this.

 

Her arms and legs ached at the effort and struggled to continue,

Her hands were growing numb and her grip began to loosen.

 

I can’t do this.

 

She looked up and miraculously she was almost there,

She steeled herself for the final climb.

 

I can do this.

 

Soft wisps of white touched her face,

She sighed in relief.

 

I’m going to make it.

 

She moved her hand up for the last few inches,

She gasped as it slipped from the ladder and her body began to fall back.

 

I couldn’t do it.

 

Tears began to fill her eyes as the clouds grew more distant,

The heat grew stronger at her back as she fell to earth.

 

I couldn’t do it.

 

As she closed her eyes, she was startled by a hand that wrapped around hers.

Her strength was gone, and she couldn’t grab on.

 

I can’t do this.

 

But the hand didn’t let go and she realized she had stopped falling.

She was weak but the hand that held her was so strong.

 

He can do this.

 

The hand gently raised her and the clouds eventually encircled her,

Soon a bright light shone around her. She was safe. The fire could not reach her.

 

She made it because of Him.

 

-Diana Kristine

Poem 2 Some Graces

4am Poem 2

Some Graces

About ten years ago
a teenaged young man
smashed into a pole on Honoa’piilani Hwy
driving home late from work.
He left his body immediately.

There are some graces.

White gloved
I drove him to his home ,

Lahainatown
down Front Street
past the Banyon Tree
through congested little avenues
stopping at his house
where family, neighbors and friends stood
solemnly waiting to fall
into processional to the church
to the cemetery
to his place of final resting.
He was gone.
He is gone.

He and all are gone now,
stolen by firestorm
all gone but the Banyon Tree
of his youngest youth.

There is still some life in our
strong, old Banyon Tree.

There are still some graces.

.

Time Flies, Today I’m Grounded 2/24

Ten years ago,

as I look back

my life had just unraveled

two years under my belt

since my mind began to travel

many battles fought

many hurdles crossed

many things unveiled

I had to learn to cut the loss

I used to be so blind

I didn’t know what I know now

and not because I was a dummy

I had just lived life

the best way I knew how

No tools

No knowledge

Not an ounce of common sense

I had never been instructed

On being a decent human

Oh my mistakes did cost me

But they were all worthwhile

Today I can say honestly

Life was worth every trial

Today I tell my old self

“Don’t fret, you did quite well”

It’s the person you’ve become that matters

All the while walking through hell

So give yourself some credit

Life’s has bashed you enough

Embrace the you you are

And bask in your self Love ❤️

 

~Rebeli

 

 

 

 

SETTLING

God did not really want THIS for me- did he?
Little by little, I start to get my voice back.
My opinions, my thoughts, my strength, MYSELF.
Finally free,
I can live MY life again.
I can hold out for what I want,
What I know I deserve.
And if I don’t find it?
That’s fine.
I’d rather spend the rest of my life alone and happy than miserable because I settled.

A Bully’s Encouragement

She stares at an empty wall

visions a ladder lifting her up,

overcome a battle she’s facing.

In Junior High, Jeanine teased

and bullied me to impress friends

until her older cousin asked her to stop.

By Senior year of high school she left

became unimpressive, bullied by her own circumstances.

Jeanine was pregnant.

Now on the receiving end

I never smirked or smiled

at the karma of 1992.

We became acquaintances

in adulthood.

I held her place in line

at Sam Goody

so she could grab one

more record.

I told Jeanine about my job’s

Annual Chinese Auction.

A glow in her eyes

each year winning baskets.

On Facebook she showcased her daughter

with pictures of their resemblance to one another.

Never the son she gave up over thirty years ago.

Standing in MOMA she stares at a bare white wall,

sees the ladder to carry her as she battles cancer for a second time.

Instead of karma, tell Jeanine she’s got this even if life is uncertain

because dark corners

need to see brightness of possibilities

as she embraces a fight with chemo.

 

 

Not Yet (Hour Two)

I left my house too early.

No other  cars were in the drive.

My fingers turned to ice,

as my stomach churned inside.

Too early, no one’s there.

Around the block I go to think.

Meeting new people in new place,

Learning names and matching faces.

Deep breath in and blow it out,

whatever shall I do.

A car pulls up and the driver appears,

I can do this as person number two.

Three more cars before I park.

Six people with food and chairs.

I can’t, not yet,

away I go.

They wave and I’m not there.

 

 

Prompt #1: “There Sleeps a Great Beast”

Darkness calling, pierced by the lone
cyclopean eye, a road that bends beyond sight,
to roll through the forested bosom of enchanting night.

Where the asphalt holds a small barrier
upon undulant roots and curving earth,
where all is swallowed, digested,
reborn through midnight wonder,
until the blood sings with ancient notes,
once again remembered, stirring the soul
to dance with itself,
to love that primordial familiarity.

No path is too long to return to this place.
This place that has been dormant inside you.
Go there now, in the deep dark of your modern slumber,
awake the beast that seeks to revel there,
forget the names of things, forget the things you were taught,
act on what you feel in your bones,
act on what you already know,
on what you’ve always known.

Hour Two

Image prompt

 

Perspective

Sometimes the ladder into the sky

is invisible; (until closer inspection).

Sometimes invented; (until closer utilisation).

Sometimes a blank wall

is the best beginning.

Sometimes up is the worst

misconception.

 

(c) Siobhán Mc Laughlin

 

 

Ten Years Ago

 

Ten Years Ago

 

Thinking of ten years ago makes

me think of ten years from now.

 

I’ve been spinning around this globe

for seventy five years and notice that

its speed seems to be picking up.

 

I’m on a carousel, trying to grab a ring

that’s getting harder to grasp because

the prizes that seemed within reach

are starting to fade from view.

 

Africa, New Zealand, India, Vietnam are

places I can visit but probably not all of them.

 

I can’t do everything I once thought I might.

 

It’s hard to grasp a world without

maybe I’ll go there somedays

or maybe I’ll do that somedays.

 

Maybe my fear of missing out is

pitting myself against my desires.

 

Perhaps I should listen to the fire in

my belly that looks for art in everything

and shines a light on where to go

as it puts my mind to sleep.