24 Poems ~ 24 Hours
-after Diana Khoi Nguyen
“…hands separating peach halves from a core”
the crack that it makes
white flesh peaches crack and snap
they crunch in my mouth
textures like soft sand and
mild sweetness
launches me back to marching fields
summer heat
when my ears were drenched in sound
and my body rhythm flowed in time
with the drum beats around me
the boys I called brothers
and the shenanigans we got up to
are all in the past
but still live in the taste of peaches
I feel so tired this Marathon, like butter spread to thin, I forgot this day was coming. I thought I’d planned ahead but I’m working despite myself. I’m making cookies for a party and also doing laundry. I did not sleep much yesterday, I will merely nap tonight, and hours one and two have left me feeling light. I don’t know how to top myself, or if I should just stick to the prompts, the marathon is how I push myself. Idk. I’m just musing. I’d meant to stream this event, like I did last year. I’d meant to have an audience that could assuage all my doubts, guilt, and fear. For the first time I do this truly alone.
At least two of the poems these two hours are incomplete but that’s fine I guess. I can always touch them up later. I’ll try to do this every couple of hours so I can really think about it.
For heaven’s sake girl
stop giving yourself away
your time is precious.
the shadow of the ladder (a parable of women’s lives)
seems fitting somehow
for a woman to be looking at the shadow of a ladder
to an unseen ceiling
in a space where everything around her is incomplete
contrived
or just out of reach…
trying to convince her she is just not quite clever enough
to figure out it’s all a set up
by hands more concerned with creating a world with the illusion of upward mobility
than offering the real route up.
(C) r. l. elke
I wish I could write the way I think
Incessantly, infinitely, frantically
To the point of suffocating thoughts
But I write nothing closely
My thoughts not in sync with my actions
Desperately fixing myself when nothing is broken
Gathering pieces which never shattered
An illusion I created on my own
My agony labelled me as unique
The way I see the world is not how it is
Mending the broken world around me
Allowing myself a sense of peace
Egotistical I am to fix others and ignore my flaws
Finding closure for the wounds inflicted on me
I am not patching myself up
Vanishing in the sound of silence
Outside of time in empty space
I am nowhere, I am nowhere
* Over a decade ago, I felt something like this, as if I didnt exist and I was nowhere
rather than face
the comfort i know waits
in the familiar wall of color,
i study the white wall
that challenges me
not finding the anticipated emptiness,
i discover a way up
a grey so light
a white so bright
no end in sight
nearly lost in the whiteness
tempted by the dare
i almost miss the blackness
lying low against the white wall
weapons?
or protection?
or illusion?
no answers
only knowing
that’s me
covered in my blackness
deciding if I dare step into uncertainty
and climb
blindly, endlessly into the unknown
or turn to the color wall
where i will find welcome
and warmth
and the way home
Naïve, raw, my grief an uncut diamond
Waiting to be set in a pendant and hung
Around my neck. I had assigned two fathers
To the flames, I thought that I was strong.
Still learning ten years later, still trying
To let go. I was innocent in many ways
Unaware of the trajectories of this old heart
For as long as it beats, the fears the anger
Remains. As does hope, the plain gold bangle
Encircling my wrist. Manacled to my fate.
the past draped about us like a cloak
after diana khoi nguyen
the present tied tightly to our feet like skates
the future sliding underneath
and out in front
and out behind
and all around
like a body of water somewhere cold
turning to ice
layer by layer
eventually thick enough
to hold it all
The world is smaller than l remember
Darker
Colder
My body contains the remnants of cigarettes,
Cheap wine
Sex
I fold myself into flower, origami style
Scars become memories
Memories drifting like storm clouds
The rain washing the dirt away
And I have been to Paris
The sweet city of dreams
I have been to the Eiffel Tower
And wished for a love so sweet
I have been to Paris
And loved the ancientness and yet modernity of it
I have been to Paris
I have seen Paris
And now…i can die