Into Japan I’d like to roam
amidst cherry blossoms’ sweet perfume
konnichiwa as I kowtow
when meeting those in kimono
at giant red torii respectfully gaze
and simple Buddhist shrines amaze
its food, my favorite sushi bites
red and orange, black and white
the shodo, or calligraphy
and painting fascinating me
the brush’s art in every letter
seems light and dainty like a feather
the bonsai, it’s a careful tree
pruned ever so unnaturally
yet its tiny winding way
intimidates and awes my stay
no comfort comes though if I squeeze
into a cubicle meant for sleep
or a subway packed to brim
where workers fight to get in
her scrapers shout neon reds and greens
while bars pulse with karaoke scenes
she’s stunning, I can easily say
I’d love to visit in person one day.
– Sandra Johnson
You evoked some memories for me. I thought you had been to Japan from the images you create here. (I lived in Japan for 2 years.)
I like the active verbs throughout your poem except for one line: “the bonsai, it’s a careful tree”
I found the passive “is” a bit jarring even though it’s contracted. It struck me wrong for some reason.
Is it possible to replace that contraction (including the “a” article after it) with another word. It doesn’t even have to be a verb. Just a thought.
Do you think “such” instead of it’s? I’ve never been but always wanted to go. I’ve been to Paris three times – Japan was definitely harder to write. Thanks for the input.
This is wonderful. Your passion for wanting to visit shines through well in this. After reading, I want to go too!
Thanks Jane – I’ve always wanted to go myself. I collect Japanese and Chinese curios. I appreciate your feedback.