Poem 1
Silently Sad
By: Ashley L Powers
I sit here with frustrated thoughts
My inner fists beating against these walls I’ve built
This is what it must feel like to be in prison
Trapped within the bars of my mind’s cell
I feel like I’m choking, it’s really getting hard to breathe
I truly feel suffocated by the pain
The thoughts, the hurt, flows through me like a ocean
But I can’t swim so I’m drowning
My insides are crumbling
Yet my outside shows no sign of trauma
I let the smile on my face fool everyone
People ask me if I’m okay…
And YES flows from my mouth with ease
But it’s truly taking everything in me not to break down and scream
I want to yell at the top of my lungs…
…HELL NO I’M NOT FINE, HELP ME PLEASE
Why can’t you see that I’m hurting?
I tell myself that no one cares
So I keep everything bottled up
But inside I’m slowly dying
Behind closed doors I’m crying
Waves of emotions that keep pulling me under
Every night that I rest my head
I lay in my own tear filled puddle
But I’m a Pisces so I should be used to it
I just want to be rescued
But there’s no one to save me
I’m fighting myself, trying to stop the tears from falling
My internal dam can’t take all the weight
So it folds under pressure
The cracks I tried to seal are beginning to break
Tears so heavy I can’t focus
But I make sure to wipe them away before you notice
I have to pretend to be perfect
Y’all look at me and see Ashley
I look at me and see half broken…
…heartbroken
I see a woman who’s torn apart from her own confusion
How do I tell the world I’m shattered?
How do I tell the world I feel like I’ve lost everything that mattered?
Until I figure it out
I’ll just keep it to myself
I’ll just keep sitting here staring at these four walls
Suffering….
….dying
Slowing going mad….
….silently sad
