The Poetry Marathon

10 Years Past

I take the path

I remember it well

Eight of young, still at school with English and Math

But even at a young age, she could tell

I like playing with dolls of Barbie

I like to dance and sing

I like to have a little party

I like to skate and swing

I want to say I’m happy, but I know that they didn’t make me feel so

But! I can’t wait to turn ten!

It’s a big number I know

Maybe I’ll have some friends then

I like to play with dolls

I like to dance and sing

I wonder if ten years later, it’s the same thing.

Years

Past hides future plans.

Presents become present.

Standing still would be nice.

Fast forward.

Halt.

Invisible Canvas Haiku

White washed wall waiting

Bleached, beautiful and borrowed

It speaks in blankness

moth

I hear the moth caught in the stickied light trap

Unable to cry out in a way that I can hear

 

But the frantic beating of fluffed wings buffets my heartstrings just as well

 

I ache for it, feel sorrow that it suffers

But rejoice as the plug in works just as intended

 

And now the moth cannot make demons from the shadows

Cannot ambush my peace in the twi-lit kitchen

 

This creature suffers because I protected my serenity

Do I feel guilty about her pain, or about standing up for my tranquility?

 

Setting boundaries with words goes nowhere

Using other means feels like war

 

Im not sacrificing my sense of safety

To keep you flying high, moth(er)

Hour 2 10 Years ago

Ten years ago,

My head floated like a balloon

above everything

imagining the best.

Ten years ago,

my body worked better.

It has always felt weighed down.

But not like today

as it holds me prisoner.

Ten years ago,

Hope was still in every dream

Hope now is

erased in events and cynicism.

Ten years ago,

all was as it should be.

Ten years ago,

the world didn’t scare me.

It didn’t wake me up at night,

it didn’t cry for my help.

Today I see more darkness

than light.

More coldness than warmth.

More grief, more anger.

Ten years ago,

I was a shell of who I am today.

 

 

Hour 1

The night is young and so are we,

Grasping at blanket and sheets that used to bring comfort,

Now simply annoyances blocking my way

To you

This is How She Found Us – Hour 1

Only yesterday we were orphans.

Disconnected names on a tree of barren branches.

Only empty limbs within reach.

Arms too short, fingers too ignorant

to find their way up to the lap she once offered,

soft bread baked with love,

the warm blanket of home in her clear eyes.

Stumbling across her long-forgotten face,

my heart blooms in a shock of colors.

I see my mother, my sisters in the shape

of her round cheeks and dark curls.

Her unexpected wry smile reaches down from the past,

Suddenly strong hands grip our fingers

and she pulls us all close to her heart.

Orphans no more.

Today she drapes around us like a cloak. Ours.

 

2023: Hour Two

Hour Two, Unprompted – 2023

Shining smiles,
filled with glee;
Our joy is my strongest memory.

You have seen me,
in all stages;
Held me,
Through all phases –

A gift of many graces,
Nothing can replace this;
So then,
the truth calls us to face it.

Meant for me;
Meant to Be –
Forever safe within our reverie,
Fifteen pillars of Growth and Glee.

Falling

Falling

Fainted heart of mine

Attuned to a future without You – I

Let my soul drown in sorrow

Longing for this nightmare to end

I fall into the arms of self destruction

Not able to catch onto hope

Grieving what we had

INTO THE DEEP END

 

The gift of Amnesia

If only I had amnesia, so I could erase the feelings, the ones that remind me, of how uneasy I was to love, the ones that bring me back, to moments of neglect, all those times you said you’d be there, but you never came, let my memory lose those times, when we were not together, the times when love felt unreal, let me forget the hate and anger, take the sorrow and kill it, give me amnesia wrapped up with a bow, let it be a gift to not remember, all those times I couldn’t see, the entire time you were there for me.