The Poetry Marathon

Stuck Is (H3)

trying too hard
she froze in place
and swayed but didn’t move
looked but didn’t touch
until the thaw
step into the stream
or build a bridge
neither got her where she was
both didn’t seem an option
and again
came the freeze

There’s so many emotion running through me I feel so over-whelm to the point I just want to curl up and hide. My emotions have ran away with themselves. Leaving me feel where do I go from here what’s next is it ever going to get better why am I feeling this way. All these questions running through my head can I just get some answers so my mind can feel at ease just for one day. I feel like I’m on an emotional roller coaster ride I feel like I lost who I use to be. I feel so alone like everything around me I am losing control off. I don’t know where to go from here. I need some peace of mind. I need to know everything will be fine. Breathe I tell myself to just breathe. You’re not the only one who been down this road. Everything going to be ok. Just get on your knees and pray. Just pray for peace and leave everything single doubt, heartache, pain to him. You’re here for a reason so go leave this behind and find what your purpose is just breathe a let go.

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Hour 3

It’s easy to miss

Those little things

Lost in our busy world

We often cannot see

The squirrel on a tree

Bright eyed, busy tailed

Foraging all around

Busy with its own existence

And I wonder in bewilderment

How are we all that different?

Prompt #3 Familiarity

My footsteps weigh heavy
upon the timber floorboards 
of this ancient house.

It gets really quiet at night,
the silence screams in my ear.
Echoes remanent... haunting in the distance.
Emptiness feels heavy and dark.
Full of regrets and dense with secrets.

Sometimes it is silence that keeps me up at night.
My senses -heightened
Alerted- fearsome
I never like the night
cause it pierces my eyes,

The darkness seems scary
Like an endless gaping hole of abyss
prying open and starring back 
Penetrating and peeling 
my layers of fear 
just for fun.

The cold gets under my skin
it bites my bones.
Sends shivers down my spine.
My body is in search of heat 
to compensate for the chill in the air.
I breathe heavy, water vaporizes into ice 
and clouds seem float out. 

A waft of familiarity hangs heavy 
The fragrance of Fried onions, turmeric, 
paprika, garlic and ginger paste
lingering on... from the evening cooking.
It's my mother's food. 
I tried her recipe of lentil and spinach curry  
and it turned out delicious.
It tasted like home. 
It soothes my nerves. 
It gives me peace.

Tonight I sleep with a full belly
knowing that I am much closer to home
in my heart and in my stomach.


-Janice Raquela Mendonca 

Poem 4: “Acceptance”

Little Things

I glance outside as I pass the sliding glass door.

I see the gazebo, the grass, the windmill.

I seek out the sunflowers, for now there are two;

And my Rose of Sharon opened up today.

 

Clouds are sparse, the sky so blue.

No noisy neighbors mowing…yet.

Ever so gently the wind blows;

The birds sing.  Summer has arrived.

Morning Stroll

The morning air is heavier than I imagined.
I have never been up and out this early
and if I am up, I’ve spent it contained within my four walls.
Summer days pass me by; this is the first time
I heard the palm trees of my street rustle and listened to it.

I pass by a neighbor’s house
a man I’ve never seen before mows the lawn carefully enough
to not hit the countless, colorful folderol on the property.
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen the faces of the people behind these doors.
I’m not from a place where people take walks.

There is no sidewalk on my street or the others surrounding it
if you want to roam you do it with four wheels not two legs.
Part of me feels there is no one in these houses
or these houses are flat slabs of wood painted like a backdrop of a play
and the silhouettes against the window at night are merely mechanical.

I laugh at the thought.
I wonder if someone looked out the window
they’d be surprised to see me walking on the road
and laugh at the realization that they don’t know me either.

I circle back and the house next to mine is boarded and abandoned
yet their lawn is greener and tamer than my dried one.
I’d like to think there’s someone in there
arising out of view, to water it each night.

Bacchus

I heard the words you never want to hear
He’s in the hospital
I pulled together my determination
He’s in the ICU
I put together the dollars
He will be there all week

They told me it was Moloch who would kill my friends
They never mentioned how deadly Bacchus would be
They told me it would be car crashes and heart attacks and unforseen accidents
They never said it would be the numbness we so easily reached for
They told me it would be war and crime and all the ugliness that comes with it
They never told me it would be the poison we so blithely swallowed

That drink doesn’t hurt anything
This bottle doesn’t make a difference
It’s just been a bad day
Lay off, it’s been a bad month
Calm down, it’s just been a bad year… bad two years… three years… life

We took it down
We took it in
We drank like drowning men
We became saturated in it
We were soaked and drenched in it
So enamored and entranced we kept drinking it
And danced around Bacchus’s throne
Neverminding the lingering sadness in his eyes
As we slipped and fell at his feet

It wasn’t until later, much later
That we started to count the cost
We stood in fear
Around beds and sidewalks
Staring at what some of us had become
We stood in black
Around graves and pews
Staring at the end results

I walked into an ICU for the second time in my life
“He is looking better today.”
Because I refuse to let another member of this family die
“If you see me with a drink in my hand punch me in the face.”
Without at least saying that I tried
“You said that in front of witnesses, don’t doubt me, I will do it.”

Hour 3 – A Walk

This morning

There is an unreasonable chill

Cut blooming fire roses

left on the ground

last night’s offering

On the longest day

 

The bar flies have flown away

to slumber off the revelry and

In a few hours

May a sigh will escape from their lips

In sweet recollection

 

For now

The sidewalks are for

Pairs of old men

Walking slowly

In neon orange and green safety vests

And a father sleepily sipping sweet caffeine

With one hand on a stroller

And me

Tracing my lover’s face

Softened by dreaming