A Study of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Can this become a poem?
This… touchy… subject…

Perhaps a work in progress
as we all are, after all.

I learned today
to never say
“You make me feel…”
to a narcissist.

Except, I like that song.

True… it does give away power.
So does the song, but
in a sweeter way.

Narcissists push engagement
when one would rather
walk away.

Why is that?

“You” is not constructive.
“I am…” is self-empowering.

A narcissist will still attack,
minimize, criticize, gaslight,
scream, yell, trivialize,
and on and on.

Pray for them?
That’s where I lack faith.

Walk away from them?
Sigh… I’ve tried.
And tried, and tried.

They need me…
And that’s SO strange!

On Religious and Political Freedom

Thank God for the freedom of religion and politics!

Someone a long time ago had the right idea about it.
Someone… so few remember.

Then again, maybe most just didn’t listen.

Yes, you do have the right to TRY to tell me all about your politics disguised as religion,
and, lucky for you, I will listen politely because I am polite.

HOWEVER, you DO NOT have the right to force your ideologies or dictate my thoughts!!

To be clear, the fact that I do not care to give your “faith” ten percent of my six figure income
each year as a required “tithing” (aka tax-free tax) does not represent my opinion of God,

or people, or men, or Christianity, or churches, or Sunday, or Easter, or Christmas, or America.

You DO NOT have the right to frighten me with abusive behaviors that indicate I OBVIOUSLY
made the right decision when I chose NOT to join your politico-religious community.

Yes, I do write specifically about a handful of known individuals.

Am I mad at you? Well, yes, in fact, I am. You are no longer welcome in my social circle.
You did that to yourself when “no, thank you” became a complex phrase.

Why wasn’t my time and gracious attention to your presentation enough?

If God wants me to go to church, HE will inspire me directly, and He will not
raise red flags like banners billowing behind a prop plane.

All religious texts put forth various similar rules about this kind of thing – didn’t you read yours?

God does NOT hate me. Sorry to be the one to let you in on that fact. YOU ARE NOT GOD.
God does not hate you, either. I don’t hate you. I’m mad at you for violating my civil rights,

and then having your “flying monkeys” pretend to represent the divine will of Jesus Christ!

What blasphemy!! I’m telling you off because I know you will read this, then pretend you didn’t.
Not familiar with flying monkeys? Google it, and then go check out that Bible you never read.

My favorite Christian religion is Catholicism – they don’t proselytize, though some Priests…

Catholicism and Judaism are beautiful. Still determined to save my soul? Well bless your heart!
With respect to Eastern religions and the seat of my soul… please be satisfied that…

My pap smear was healthy, and Machiavelli was an atheist, so stay in your own lane! The END.

Thank you for requiring your pedophiles and rapists over the last 60 YEARS to wear condoms.
Yea, right.. God forgives rapes by proxy of half-Jewish children with beautiful mothers. NOT!!!

I was born in the fall of 1959 to a beauty who married a brilliant, talented Jewish man.

And, I am not interested in joining your church or rallying behind ANY political party.
Yes, I’m mad at you, I would never hurt you, and I can’t stop you from hurting yourself.

I am not obligated to forgive you. Why should I? Because you think God forgave you?

I am not God. Your relationship with the divine is none of my business. And, vice versa!
God is not pushing me to join your church. YOU are. Take responsibility, please.

And, while you’re at it… THANK GOD for the freedom from religion and politics.

And, one more little thing… I genuinely doubt Jesus Christ appreciates your org’s exploitation
of His holy essence as a psy-op tool. Shame on you! Nice chatting with you yesterday.




An Ode to Mr. N

Yes, you… handsome Mr. N.
My very best friend in the Universe… God…

Told me about you 30 plus years ago.

Believe it, or not…
He’s everyone’s BFF. Just ask him!

Everyone’s Sugar Daddy
sans the diabetic afterlife.

His joke, not mine.

Took me a long time to remember what Irene
told me about you. She said “God sent you to me for a reason.”

Then, she went on and on about
OMG, so much stuff!

So much, that I never remember until after things happen.

Mr. N., you don’t need my drama.
I am temptation, though this is not my intent.

My intentions are poetry, music, and theater.
All else feeds poetry, music, and theater.

And I’m SO tired of all this exploitation. REALLY, I am S.A.T.O.I.A.!!!

My good buddy, JC, says he’s going to give you
some other drama to run with.

Wait for it, Mr. N.
Have faith for it, Mr. N.

God will never EVER guide you toward Machiavelli.

Post-script commentary:

Who, exactly is Mr. N.? N, stands for “Nobody”, “Nuisance”, “Nefarious”, “Nonsense”, “Nasty”, “Narcissist”, and “Nut-job”. I have a lot of Mr. N.’s in this life’s history. “Handsome”? Hey, flattery helps!

Healthy Mind – Healthy Heart

You are absolutely amazing!
Gimme, gimme some o’ that you!

You’ve never had a more loyal supporter than me!
So, don’t question the purity of my motives.

Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?
One of us has to be right… and it’s me… always!

My ex was absolutely totally crazy!
Don’t forget that I’m the victim here… and you’re next!

Why can’t you just move on?
I don’t want to talk about what I’ve done wrong!

You are so _______! (selfish, controlling, immature, manipulative)
Don’t you dare have a mind of your own!

You’re just over-reacting / too sensitive. I feel sorry for you.
You need to quit being human.

You have no idea what you’re talking about…
Hey, look, I’m the keeper of truth, not you.

You must buy into my alternate reality
because I don’t care about you.

I don’t care, I don’t care.
I want. I want. I want.

And, it’s all your fault!

I win. They lose. You lose.
I matter. You don’t.
I am. You’re not.

Credit: Les Carter, PhD “8 Phrases That Scream Narcissism”

The disposal of truth…
just put it in the trash.

Give it to the garbage men
and women to disperse.

The closer one gets to
the top of the heap

the more it stinks
to high heaven!

Thank you, Dr. Carter, for making these videos. Here’s hoping the narcissists in my world will see this as a path to their own personal healing. “I hope this positions you to be a person of peace,” Dr. Les Carter.

Addendum: Every human being is a little bit narcissistic. And, leadership requires a healthy level of narcissism. Those who wrote the American Constitution and the Bill of Rights must have had an innate sense of how that healthy level of narcissism could descend into tyranny. These days, on all sides of things, it appears few are capable of accepting the truth. Instead, we are fed portions of a sautéed truth that one would never pair at a dinner party.

We of the worker class know that exhibiting our narcissism in the wrong way could cost us our jobs, so we behave. We look for ways to collaborate and express our ideas with tact and consideration. We avoid casting blame, and instead excuse with empathy. We know we need each other.

Yes, I’m talking about politics, even though I am mostly a-political, rolling from side to side in avoidance of the stinky mud, trying hard to flow with the clear water of truth. So, I see what is, not what others want me to see – provided enough information to see anything at all. What is politics, really? Just a whole bunch of people doing everything they possibly can do to keep their jobs. Sadly, this effort has drifted beyond simply doing their jobs to the best of their ability, and then accepting a termination of their contract with grace – like the rest of us do.

I read the other day that Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. has put his hat into the ring for 2024. Trump did well during his term in office, and I consider him a good President, despite his natural masculine proclivity toward beautiful women – which was not much different from Clinton. I do not care for the nonsense going on now, in April 2023. Such a waste of taxpayer dollars.

So, who will I vote for in 2024, between those two? That’s like asking me if I prefer crème brule with raspberries over a custard with raspberries and a crisped sugar coating. I plan on sending them both the same contribution, and I genuinely hope that, regardless of who wins, they will work together toward a prosperous and sustainable America.

My Friend, John-John

We were so little back then, you, me,
standing up under the table
playing prince and princess.

Do you remember?

Absolute innocence! Just children
playing out the fairy tales
read to us to sleep.

Do you recall?

The woman… the crazy gray bird
who rescued you from
my evil clutches! LOL!

I remember.

Making something
out of nothing
to hide everything.

Those people!

Same ones today,
except that hag is dead.
She and her pedometer.

You catch my drift.

Sweet John-John!
Are you really…
At least in my heart, yes.

My friend.

Poetry Marathon Anthology 2022

We are so sorry for the delay!
The 2022 Poetry Marathon Anthology is now available for sale from a variety of retailers throughout the world. We expect it to slowly become available from more retailers, moving forward.
This year’s anthology includes 239 poets from many different corners of the world.
Here are some links where you can purchase the book:
Waterstones (UK)

I’m sorry for the delays in the release of the book! I’m not sure why Amazon is not carrying the book, but hopefully it will be available from them soon as well.

Thank you to everyone who contributed. If you have any questions please reach out to poets@thepoetrymarathon.com

What to Talk About

There are just a handful – very few – people to whom I refuse to speak. Sometimes it’s because their behavior has been criminal. No point in mincing words, but I prefer not to speak to criminals. They all get cut off at some point in time.

Like the couple that stole $30 from my purse here at this AirBnB while I was distracted, then asked to borrow $30 from me. No point in causing a scene, so I’ll cut them off later, and play nice for now. I actually did loan them $40 because I only had $20s on me, since they’d stolen a $20 and two $5s moments prior, knowing they’d either return the same two $20s the next day, or keep those, too. Undeserved charity to two lazy people who complain about the state of the world while watching TV and smoking cigarettes. God forbid they look for a job! Grifters… They returned the two $20s thinking I trust them now. I don’t.

Point being, those who are eventually cut off from my little bubble of existence are cut off for good reason – mostly.

There are a few – just a few – who are cut off simply due to their association with criminals. They themselves haven’t done anything wrong; but, their relation to criminals, whether convicted or not, is a risk I’d prefer to cut from my world. It’s a shame, because I liked them, but… they’re not my family.

As I am not married, my family is very small, consisting only of my two children, their spouses, and any children that may come forth. My mother was taken by criminals in 1962. My father, Mr. Miller, died naturally at the age of 89. Anyone not fitting that description is not my family, though they claim otherwise.

Let me be clear… kidnapping is a crime. So is murder, blackmail, theft, rape, assault, and harassment. In fact, all of those crimes are felonies in the scope of my situation, up to and including the woman with the pregnant rat under her coat. It didn’t take long for it to make its presence known. Rat poison killed it before it was able to give birth – and long before it could damage my property. That’s felony harassment. Shame on you, lady.

In fact, shame on all of you pushy people who just don’t want to get the message. Guilt by association – sorry, but that’s just the way it is. With billions of people in the world, I’d think you could replace me with someone of equal charm and greater interest in being your friend.

Think about it… what on earth would we talk about? I have no interest in a conversation with you, no interest in your life or your opinions. I have no interest in working with you artistically or otherwise, so what is it that you want with me? Trying to make me believe God is angry with me for… for what? Not joining your sister’s church or any other church? Being omnitheistic? Reading Tarot cards? Believing in magic (aka prayer)?

God isn’t angry with me. He might be angry with you, but I know he’s not angry with me. I keep his Commandments – even beyond the first ten. So, what else do you want to talk about? Why I’m not married?

I seriously doubt you have, in your circle of friends, a man I would find attractive. We’re not birds of a feather, and I don’t like you. So, even if he were attractive, his association with you is immediately disqualifying. It’s not hate, it’s dislike – big difference. I don’t hate you. If you want the truth, I feel nauseated around you. I don’t know why.

I am offended by your sister’s demand that I join her church via those two faux religious zealots in Central California. Oh, you thought I didn’t know… I’ve known all along about that association, D. I am even more offended by your cousin’s repeated demand that I marry that son of a politician so that she could get rich. Human trafficking is a felony crime with no statute of limitations.

Worse yet, I am offended by your other cousin – the politically connected one – who blackmailed me in the 1990s. She’ll deny it, of course. She was the first to be cut off. Her two oldest sisters followed. The one sweet sister was just a measure of safety. I’m sure she’s innocent, but… let’s face it… you people are not my family. Plain and simple. It’s time for you to accept that fact.

It’s also time for you to leave me alone before the next ill-advised thing you do proves your association to this harassment I’ve been experiencing. I’m very busy, and would prefer not to have to sue the estates of your father and uncle. Money has never motivated me toward an action. I have enough talent to make plenty of money by putting my time and energy toward other, more productive endeavors. But, if it gets to the point that I am 100% certain of your involvement, I will have no choice. And I will consider the entire process a huge waste of my time and energy, even if I win – which I will, since I never fight battles I can’t win.

I could say all those things to your face(s), but what’s the point in trying to speak when I know it will evolve into a shouting match – with your side doing all the shouting? You know… that very ordinary weapon used by all sociopaths – whomever shouts the loudest wins… That’s why I will only fight in a courtroom.

What’s there to talk about? Oh, we have A LOT to talk about, and I think it would take up too much of the time I have left on this planet. But, if you really want to talk about it, we will do so in the presence of a federal court judge. Otherwise, I just really have no interest in your life, your world, or your people.

I will leave you with one last thought… People often make decisions based upon personal bias – especially when they have too little data to make a truly informed decision. The outcome of those decisions can be either good or bad, depending simply upon luck. So, you can make a bad decision for whatever reason – Machiavellian or not – or a good decision. And, while you may believe you’ve made a good decision, it may actually be a bad one. This is something all executives know is part of their job.

There are four possible outcomes: bad decision + bad luck, bad decision + good luck, good decision + bad luck, and good decision + good luck. So, what is luck? In my opinion, that’s where God comes into play. Thus, ask yourself… have I done anything to offend God? Key word is “I”. The answer can be found by reading your Bible with an open heart and open mind. For example… the 9th commandment goes way beyond that one line, well into so much as thinking about being fraudulent. Suffice it to say that the Bible and Machiavelli’s “the Prince” contain some very opposing strategies, both of which can accomplish the same earthly goal. It’s all a matter of allegiance – and whose luck you really want: God’s? Or Machiavelli’s?

Dear Stalkers

Yes, you… New England boy with the pleasant voice and brilliant mind. Well, maybe not you, per se, intentionally, but your boss(es). You’re a nice man. I enjoyed our conversations.

I suspected you a few years ago, prior to Facebook hacking
my account for who knows why… maybe because I spilled the beans about the plandemic having been just that at least 40 years ago, if not more.

Beans, beans, beans, and more beans.

Politics and the price of beans – both are in the clouds these days as things go; and I don’t care. I do, however, care that I’m being stalked and harassed by your crazy co-workers whose identities you probably don’t even know.

SO… I scattered some beans and built a virtual wall.

Yup, I turned off “Location” on my Droid, and got a VPN for the pewter. That’s what smart people do when Cruella deVil wannabes with faux names of similar meaning to my own pathetically beg for my friendship in the most uncivilized demanding manner at the local winery.

I’d only been there 20 minutes – how did she know where to find me?

There’s no need to drive in this lovely Oregon mountain community with more wineries than churches or restaurants. How did she know I was there? Probably the same way she knew to find me at a waterfall 14 miles out in the wilderness on a rainy full moon evening. I passed her car on the way back after being there only 15 minutes. She must have just been taking the unpaved fire roads to the nearest WalMart – certainly not driving out that way to confront me with a poorly practiced Cruella impersonation like she did last Saturday. “What have we here…”. I can’t help but laugh… I mean, seriously? “What have we here…”?

That woman is one scary Blitch (spelling intended).

Yes, folks, for less than a dollar a month, anyone can track anyone else’s phone location for any reason. America is in dire need of regulations on that kind of thing, which will never happen because some politicians seem to believe themselves to be herd dogs. Speaking of which, January 6… Thanks for the invitation, but anyone with a modicum of tech knowledge could see it was a set-up. I am so ashamed of our country right now, feeling like a parent scolding two toddlers fighting over a board game.

“Behave! Both of you! You will either play fair, or there will be no dessert for a week!”

“But he cheated!”

“Bleu, cheating is never worth it. Think about it this way… a real win is much more satisfying than a false one.”

“Well, he cheated last time we played.”

“Redd, is that true?”

“No, not last time, but maybe the time before, before the time before that.”

“Same thing. Why do you two cheat each other when playing fairly together can be so much more fun? I don’t understand.”

[Downcast eyes and a long period of silence until both speak at the same time…]

“Hush! Just hush! Mommy loves you both, and I want you to grow up to be productive, respectable adults. Cheating is simply not respectable. The whole world will reject you if you cheat.”

“Will you reject us?”

“Never. I will always love you no matter what, but I have to say that I feel hurt and disappointed when you disturb the peace of this household with all these squabbles. Please try to exhibit with absolute clarity that neither of you even want to cheat. And by all means don’t use accusations of cheating as a tool to manipulate me. If I catch you doing that, I’ll take the game away entirely. Understand?”

“Yes, ma’am”

“How about let’s put the game away for now and go bowling?”


Nothing could speak more truth than the actions behind words. And since my actions thus far have not been clear enough, let me spell it out for you and answer those repetitive questions your people keep asking:

  1. I cannot be provoked to any level of violence. Please see ORS 166-065, ORS 163-190, and ORS 163-165. I now have two witnessed incidents and one non-witnessed assault with photos of the injury she caused. It might be time for your girl to back off, given that the last cited statute is a felony. All she has to do is… spill the beans.
  2. I am not, have never been, and will never be a prostitute. With three college degrees and substantial tech training, why would I even think about that as a career choice?
  3. Like all other normal people, I vehemently oppose involuntary human trafficking of any sort.
  4. Some people want or need to be prostitutes, and I do not fault them for it, but I prefer to live in a brothel free zone.
  5. I am 100% heterosexual, though it is none of your business.
  6. I am a post menopausal female – where did you get that I might be a “trannie” as he put it?
  7. Marriage is a spiritual sacrament, not a civic duty, so quit pushing me to marry for any reason other than that one.
  8. Yes, I have met that Anti-Christ Wannabe, so quit asking.
  9. I’ve never purchased cosmetics on Amazon.
  10. I lived on Clearview from 1968 to 1982; and it wasn’t in a tent prior to 1972.
  11. I am not a clone, as indicated by my Ancestry results (oh, brother!).
  12. I’ll sue when I feel like it, given the lack of a statute of limitations on this core issue.
  13. I love knowing the spawn of Satan is worried about it enough to pull all these stunts! LOL!!!

You boys are digging yourselves in pretty deep! I’m sure by now you need new shovels, so here’s my itinerary: Taxco, Cancun, Panama City, Rio, Argentina, South Africa, Melbourne, NZ, Thailand, Singapore, Bora Bora, Italy, Switzerland, Germany, UK, France, Spain, Portugal, Spain, France, UK, New York. That’s quite a number of Blitches to set up… best of luck there. I depart from SFO in January, though my VPN will continue to say I’m in Seattle – a city I’ve never visited. It’s going to be a trip!

So, sugarplum, I won’t be calling you back. And, btw, give my thanks to your bosses for the free rent.

Finally, yes, I know the majority of readers will have no clue what I’m talking about, and most won’t care. They will, like normal people, laugh it off as the musings of a wordsmith. Those that actually do understand will laugh and say to me “what are you talking about?” Human nature. Guilty dogs always bark first.

Clinical Reduction

Funny thing, the wisdom of moving on…
It seems so clinical. So… I don’t know…
cynical, perhaps.

I don’t know.

I wonder about life coaches…
with the right questions to help me
make the right choice.

Just let go.

But, I’m a poet! I am an actor!
I am a musician! I feel my art!
How can I feel my art without its essence?

Take it slow.

I know! I’ll put it in a little box,
and take it with me,
hide it from myself until I need to sing.

Don’t say hello.

Don’t wonder how he is.
Don’t hope for his happiness.
Certainly not for his sadness.

Don’t want to know.

That’s not the point, really…
It’s more of a universe thing…
A collective attunement… I feel.


So, we were friends…
friends of the strangest sort…
like a thickness spread too thin.

It was a glow.

Yes! Surrounded by shadow.
All my shadows… my monsters…
my “handlers”… my crazy, crazy people.

Go with the flow.

Yes, well… I think I’ll flow into sleep about now.
Busy day tomorrow.

Looking forward to the next 21 days!
New songs, new muses, new thoughts,
Renewed synapses, better art!